But things get so out of hand, or the relationship is so bad that sometimes the wife sees very clearly that the husband is not doing very well spiritually. She sees he’s not doing his meditation, or he’s not doing it very nicely, whatever or he doesn’t go to kirtans – different things like this. She sees some spiritual problem, her vision is very clear, she sees: this is a bad thing, this is not good, this is going to make his spiritual life very difficult. She cares for this person. Another thing – they should see each other as spirit souls and care for each other spiritually. Love is when you care about the spirit soul, the person within the body.
So, the wife does, she sees it, and she does care. And, so, she addresses the issue, you know, whatever she says, “You should do your meditation” or, “You should do it in a different environment”, or “You should go to kirtan. Why don’t we go to kirtan together?”, whatever. She is trying to help him. And his reaction is, “Who are you to tell me what to do?” This is like… this is crazy. You’ve got somebody that is a big part of your life trying to help you spiritually, and because it’s your wife, you reject it, “Who are you to tell me what to do?”
And, of course, all these things I’m saying can go the other way, too. The wife can also refuse to listen to the husband who actually has understanding and vision how she should do something.
So, a partnership is when you work together. If you don’t have that kind of a partnership, your marriage will be very difficult, and there will be divorce, or there will be a difficult relationship, a struggle.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. It shouldn’t be like that. We’ve got the perfect philosophy. All you have to do is to follow it. That’s all we have to do. But all too often people don’t do that. I hear so many problems from so many married couples, and it’s all based on a self-centered “I want to be the lord” problem.
Sometimes the wife is very actively engaged in some service to Krishna. And she needs some help. And she approaches the husband, “Oh, can you help me?” And he refuses. What’s that? What kind of relationship do you have? And, so, she requests the husband to help her to do something, and the husband’s reaction, “Oh, why don’t you call this other guy? Get him to do it. Why don’t you get him to help you?” He’s putting his wife in the position to call another man to come and help her, putting the two together in an incorrect situation, because he doesn’t want to do it. And there are cases where this guy, who comes to help, because the husband will not help, gets attached to the guy’s wife, simply because the husband arranged it like that. All these things are completely unacceptable. This is not spiritual life, this is not spiritual marriage.
So, if you want to have a spiritual marriage, you have to have spiritual understanding of what spiritual marriage is. There’s nothing that will affect your spiritual life much more than the marriage. When you get married, you’re putting yourself in a position to have your spiritual life greatly affected either in a positive way or a negative way. If it’s a spiritual marriage, it will be a very positive relationship. But if it’s a material marriage, then it will be a very negative relationship, they will have a very negative effect. So, think seriously about this subject. Ok, thank you very much.
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